I had a dream about you. It’s been a while since I had any dreams and more so any that I could remember. But this one in particular gave me an impression that it must have been worthwhile! I visualized you and I from the day we met, the day we first went out, to the days we made merry and intimate encounters and to the very day you popped the question. But Alas! all these seem pretty much rushed, yeah? But, hey, it is a life most desired and thought of, since the word “love” ever had meaning to me.
Every moment I spend with you and I look into your eyes, all I see is flashes of light. May be love light, if we can call it that for now.
I get anxious when around you and still bubbly and full of spasms of excitement. The adrenaline rush in me is always high that it has got no limits and to some point it feels like its going to crush my little cupid heart. In this dream I finally get to tell you how much I have been head over heels in love with you. How that happens, is still a surprise to me.
It may come as a surprise to you that all this is being revealed in a dream rather than verbally, heart to heart but truth be told, there’s so much that’s been unspoken by me. I keep hoping for the day when I will fully let it out into reality and not in dreaming scenario.
I have expressed my feelings for you for some time but you know what, most of it has been hidden and more so why I feel the way I feel. Dressed up well for you, prepared the best of meals, been around you as a support system as much as I could but still all these still hope to be noticed because it’s all unspoken.
“Somewhere; somebody,
Feels you; realizes you
And loves you,
With its utter adoration,
Devotion, affection
And recites your name
In each heartbeat
As Force of its Breath
It is its life
Whereas,
You are unaware of it.”
― Ehsan Sehgal
This is me!
A Girl’s Desire
In the realm where dreams take flight,
A girl with vision, pure and bright.
Her heart aglow, a fiery zest,
Desires for life’s grandest quest.
Eyes that sparkle, dreams untold,
In her spirit, a story unfolds.
She reaches high, towards the sky,
Chasing stars, refusing to be shy.
Ambition weaves through every thought,
A tapestry of dreams she sought.
She craves the heights, the grand embrace,
In her heart, a relentless grace.
Through valleys low and peaks so high,
Her spirit soars, touching the sky.
A girl with fire, a quest so keen,
Desires the greatest life has seen.
😍 A girl is me 🙂
I found tranquility and serenity in nature today, seeking a moment of calmness and that brought me so much inner peace.. REFRESHING!!
💖📌🎉
NO ONE LIKE MAMA
I write this as an ode to all those who have lost a mother. Whether your mother has passed on recently or many years ago, the pain of her absence is still very much alive inside you.
Mothers are special in their own way and no one can replace them – not even our closest family members and friends. They taught us how to love unconditionally and accept ourselves for who we truly are; they were always there with words of encouragement when times get hard; most importantly, mothers gave us a sense of security knowing that someone was out there looking after us since the day we were born.
Now her presence may be gone physically but she will remain forever close in spirit – remembering her fondly, cherishing moments spent together, honoring the sacrifices made throughout life without complaint…all these blessings bring comfort during this difficult time. Accepting what comes next means letting go while also celebrating her unique joy that poured into everyone’s lives over so many years! Her sun may have set on earth but it definitely rises somewhere else, peaceful and quiet. No matter where mother might rest now —miles away or right here—she brings hope amidst sadness because remember: extinction isn’t goodbye-just see you soon.. See you soon Mama!
“H” for Heavy
I did not think a time like this would come when my heart would feel so heavy. My heart is heavy because of YOU. I don’t want to crash you know! I wish I had the strength to fight for this love. Good thing is I’ve given it my best for the while it lasted.
My love for you is uncontrollable, my feelings for you are unstoppable, my heart gets its beat just at the thought of you. Question is, how do I walk away from all this? How do I get back my sanity? Mind at one place and heart at another? Wandering in thoughts that are enough to give me migraines? Dang! I’m losing it. My heart is surely heavy.
Oh well, thank you for the memories we shared. For the ” I love you” reminders. Even though we had our share of rough patches, this will probably come hard at you because its’s sounding more of “goodbye”, but we never do “goodbyes”, right? How about we have our hearts beating for each other in another realm? cool, huh?
I hope you remember how much I cared, I hope you remember how much I loved you and how much I was proud of you. I hope I’ll have saved you a big deal from being caught in between in most instances. But I’m only breaking deeper and deeper when my wants and needs are bargained with.
So, this isn’t goodbye. It is simply “see you later” in a different arena of life. Good thing, despite the heavy heart, there will be no emptiness or void since in my heart, you still reside, just as a different kind of tenant :-). I will still love you, from a safer space! I’m sorry baby its come down to this but my heavy heart needs this break. ILYSM!
Do You Know ?
Do you know what it’s like, To feel a thousand butterflies and lock them up inside? To feel so vulnerable just at your sight and in your presence ? To feel so vibrant because you bring out spasms of joy and excitement in me? When I feel like a mess, you are the only thing that makes sense. If only I could have you the way I want to… It’s amazing that, We’re stuck to each other in a way that’s even beyond our understanding. To have and to hold, to cherish and love, in bad and good times, I will be with you to the very end of time. Because,. I don’t know how to love you less!
All Hope Is Not Lost.
More often than not people say it’s the hope that kills you, wrong thought that one, times are hard yes, with a global pandemic, with lockdowns, limited/zero movement, curfews and everything bad & awful that you can think of. All these happened in the past year and it continues, with this in mind it would […]
All Hope Is Not Lost.
Keep Going
Hello Loves, it’s been a minute, ey! 😊 I just dropped by to remind us something. Someone once said,
” Keep Going No matter how bad things are right now,. No matter how stuck you feel,. No matter how many days you’ve spent crying,. No matter how many days you’ve spent wishing things were different,. No matter how hopeless and depressed you feel,. I promise you won’t feel this way forever,. So,. Keep Going”
We stumble, we fall, we make bad decisions and choices but these setbacks don’t define us. We pick ourselves up, and find the strength to carry on because at the end of the day, you’re all you’ve got! You have to be there for You.
So keep going and don’t worry about your speed. You are making progress even if it doesn’t seem like it. Forward is forward, no matter how slow. So just keep going! You got this 😘
Disowning the Pain, Owning the Process
Writing up this particular blog has been a challenge. But as the title reads, owning the process it shall be! 😊🥰
I’m gonna share a video here( I don’t own rights to it) but it truly is worth sharing.
Watching the above video has left me crying endlessly. No sleep! In less than 24hours ago, I too have been having suicidal thoughts. Thoughts that have been brought about because of something I did and self forgiveness and acceptance have been a struggle and battle all together.
In the heat of the moment, suicide seems like my last resort and the best thing to do since killing the pain inside or whatever is going on is so hard to live with. Poor sleeping patterns, poor feeding habits, being unsocial, terrible migraines, alienation, blaming myself for being imperfect and guilt eating me up fast like cancer. That’s been the story of my life in roughly two weeks.
Man, it’s been too much to wake and even look myself in the mirror for I only see a worthless piece of shitty human not regarded for any good. My mistake has made me feel the worst as a human and I have lost that which I once treasured. I am not sure I can fix my mess though 💔 but I will definitely make a point to right my wrong.
Suicide is so real and I don’t know how much strength it takes because survival then becomes so hard and being a ‘by-gone’ may then best fit as solution since cessation from existence tends to be a consoling thought at the moment. Interestingly, I haven’t really put in mind how much pain I’ll leave behind and that is some scary thought, to say the least. 🤦
Listening to the lady speak of the loss of her son in that video, I made this realisation where I can choose to be one who breaks the cycle of actions upon suicidal thoughts.
- If judged, I choose understanding
- If rejected, I choose acceptance
- If shamed, I choose compassion
I vow to be better than what broke me and to those I’ve broken as well, vow to be better than my actions that broke you. To heal instead of becoming bitter we can act from our heart and not our pain.
This whole suicidal ideation has brought forth a different kind of sensation and awareness and I hope to get past it and anyone else feeling the same. Disregard the pain, trust the process and own it. We’re a big deal! We’re important, one way or another in our own spheres. ✌️
To all that reached out and talked me out of suicide, I’m grateful. It’s tough but we move regardless of all setbacks. 💓
She is…
She is amazing,
She is beautiful,
She is nurturing,
She is fierce,
She is driven,
She is independent,
She is motivated,
She is crazy at times,
She is a mess sometimes,
She is sexy,
She is smart,
She is strong,
She is soulful,
She is magical,
She is blessed,
She is loved,
She is phenomenal,
She is open minded,
She is complicated,
She is a fighter,
She is a storm,
She is a survivor,
She’s a triple threat
And unapologetically, she’s her.
Even when…
Even when no one celebrates you,
Even when no one compliments you,
Even when no one encourages you,
Find it within you to celebrate yourself,
Find it within you to compliment yourself,
And find it within you to encourage yourself.
But then again, it’s not all that bad to have that special someone who’s got your back, always.
One who’ll make you rest assured, you not alone.
Having drafted so many articles and unable to complete them is whack! So this short video will do the trick. My mood 100% 😉
Love is You
(Lagna Ray’s Poem.. Repost)
“Sometimes you ask
How much I love you
I smile
But don’t reply
For I have no words to convey
How much I do
You live with me
In my thoughts
Even if we aren’t together
I heal with laughter
Thinking about you
In my solitude
I wrap your essence
And feel complete
Inspite of our agonizing distance
How can I express
What you mean to me
I ache for you
Even in my silence
I do not look back
What I missed
I look forward to live with you
Every moment
What is love
Love is you.”
©LR
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